Weight lifted from my shoulders.

Discussion in 'Farewells' started by Wendy, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. Wendy

    Wendy Chaotic VIP

    Hey, there... Dylan here.

    I've reached 2 years on SGM, and I think it's time to reveal my thoughts of this community as a whole.
    Back when I first started I enjoyed myself everyday playing a total of 6-12 hours daily, which in my opinion is a lot. Now I can't stand even doing 4 hours, because of the members of the community. Why? everyone changes that's the reality of it. Times change, people change, people leave end of story.

    I've been through rough times like everyone else here and I don't think I should be treated poorly for any mistakes I do. And most likely my 'voice'.

    Yes, I thought I was over my voice and no I found out I'm not. I AM 18 and I am Male, and yes... I am Straight, not gay, not trans, not something else. I know what I am, if you're insecure of what you are than keep it for yourself. Thank you.

    If you ever talked behind my back, mostly I know about it, how? because the person you told spreads it around or tells me.

    Pity and crap stuff when I was depressed, like "You can talk to me" cause the majority that told me that, didn't even help out and ignored me entirely. You know who you are. There are many of you. It hurts to know someone wants to help but ignores you later. If you wanted to help than help, if not, say nothing next time.

    Whoever helped me at those times I have my greatest thanks. Seriously more people need to be like you.

    I've had private dramas with people on SGM because I don't share them here to get support like many of you do. Yes, most of you are pussies when it comes to confrontation.

    In my field of view most of the people that are nice, resigned, or no longer play or talk here. And mostly are banned. They still exist, but becoming extinct. This might be what ends SGM in the future.

    There are several people and some more than others have hated me from hello when I first started, for no apparent reason. Most of them already know who you are, and **** you. I didn't do anything to you, than I don't see why I'm hated by you. Especially that person that I usually try to be nice to for these 2 long years, and still gives me the middle finger.

    Am I being too immature? No... maybe, but I'm being realistic, I'm no longer holding back and giving everyone a smile all the time.

    I know people that left, because they got bullied for their sexuality, or banned because of some members. Yes, unjustified bans are bullshit. And staff have to deal with it or else the members go immaturely wild.

    Trust me that's not all.


    Some people might say, I'm toxic, I'm only toxic when my day have been shit, and most staff members can relate. Especially ex-staff. I being as staff was great but the thing, to have to suck every person up so I can be a good example wasn't ideal for me and going through a rough time couldn't bare the thought of having to handle bullshit from 3 ends.

    If you lie to me and if you are fake to me I know, I'm not as stupid as you think. I just act dumb.

    I also had an experiment where I made a farewell and locked it up, only 5 people actually said at least a good bye to me. The rest didn't see it as necessary.They do it on a public view not private view, why? because they want to look they care. That's the only possible reason.

    About the voice thing, I'm an insecure, highly sensitive and anxious person, don't expect everyone to be as confident and as masculine as you. Not everyone is born the same or raised the same. Keep that in mind.

    I do make mistakes, like recently I pissed of someone here on shoutbox that I regret and I'm sorry. He doesn't have any fault and it's 100% my fault entirely I wish I could've taken it back.

    I trusted everyone even revealing my Irl face and my Irl problems to this community, and I regret it thinking about it now.

    These 'People' aren't going to be mentioned here because I don't wanna start drama. You know who you are just next time don't do it to someone else. If you don't know who you are than you don't know how you might be effecting others and that's a problem.

    This is a permanent farewell to the forums, server might hop onto very rarely. So you finally got rid of me after a lot of pushing.

    Remember that everyone, and I mean Everyone gets to have a tough time in their life, just don't make it harder for them we all are living on this earth, and we all having situation we don't want to be in.
    Here's a video to refresh it in your head:

    I might have deleted like 50 tags with over 4k characters...
    Not rewriting it.

    If you need anything add me, I don't add people.
    Good people know who they're and shit people know who they're.

    Later.

    Edit: Il rewrite it later
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
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  2. Dani

    Dani Impersonating Staff Banned VIP

    aw I thought this would be a thread about strength training
     
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  3. Koishi

    Koishi Killer Queen VIP

    nox im sorry i said you smell like ass i didnt mean it i swear

    also good luck out there ily <3
     
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  4. Emily❤

    Emily❤ The strongest light is the one within VIP Silver Emerald

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do in life
     
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  5. TheDoctor094

    TheDoctor094 Daddy Doctor Banned VIP+

    Love you NoX <3
     
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  6. DocFox

    DocFox The Best Is Yet To Come VIP Silver Emerald

    Good venting seems to help people. Hopefully it'll help you in some way. Take care and remember, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar" and "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
     
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  7. Aw man, sad to hear this. (n)
     
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  8. neutral

    neutral Banned VIP

    Take care dude. I hope you have a shoulder to lean on for the confidence issues. I wouldn’t look to much in to your experiment- locking a thread immediately makes it seem like you don’t want the attention- so it’s pretty understandable that you didn’t get much of a reply. It also gets knocked off the front page of the forums because people can’t reply.

    Hope life treats ya well, and thanks for your help on the staff team in the past.
     
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  9. Mellow

    Mellow Taking it easy VIP

    Sucks to see you leave as, while we didn't ever talk in private, you were a fun guy to have on the server and I thought you helped create a chill environment. Take care in your future adventures and hopefully everything will go well.
     
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  10. .shirt

    .shirt VIP

    Ciao
     
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  11. AAAAAAAAAAAAA

    AAAAAAAAAAAAA coolgamer VIP

    Take care dude. I sorta feel you because I have a voice that I used to hate as well.
     
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  12. Pacifist

    Pacifist Cynically Insane VIP Bronze

    I'm not sure why you are doing this to yourself. Going on and on about people who dislike you, the drama that you endured. Remembering and focusing on things that are negative, and assuming the world is just that way. I can assure you that most of us aren't out to seek your downfall, and the very few of us who are should be ignored because they don't mean anything. All I seem to take from this farewell is you being paranoid about people and how they seem to act. You see us all as selfish individuals who don't like you and think you are toxic when the opposite is true. I thought you were pretty cool the few times I spoke to you on shoutbox. What I see now is someone so consumed by anger and hatred towards a vocal minority that they would simply wash their hands of the entire situation and cut ties with people who actually do genuinely care. Putting distance between real friends because of the actions of assholes is not going to make things better for you, that much I am positive. I hope you find the time to seriously reflect on all this. Until then, i'll bid you farewell.
     
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  13. Opalium

    Opalium Stay Awesome Banned VIP Silver

    If there's one thing I learned during my days here, it's how there's always going to be those few people who only hurt others. They are usually a minority, thankfully, but they're always somewhere out there.
    It's never easy to deal with those people, especially when you have to do it while dealing with your own demons. But we don't have much of a choice - there's no escaping these. Our only choice, therefore, is to stand stronger against them, else they would consume every other good thought and feeling we have.
    The world is full of bad people, NoX, but even more good people. It is up to us to differentate between the two and find our comfort in those who are good to us. It's an important skill to have, and it's never too late to learn it. Don't give them the pleasure of succeeding in harming you - they don't deserve it. It's either we put up a fight, or we bask in defeat - and this means they win.

    Farewell, friend. It's been great to have you with us, and I hope to see you among our rows again - stronger than ever.
    #KOS_NoX
     
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  14. ayygurl_

    ayygurl_ VIP

    uhhhhh sorry man, hope I didn't annoy you too much with that.. I'm not the type of guy that likes to bully people, trust me.

    either way, i hope you'll come back and say hello one day man!
     
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  15. Shadow™

    Shadow™ What it do Shortyyyy™ VIP

    Rip nox2k18
     
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  16. Wendy

    Wendy Chaotic VIP

    Nah man I don't hate everyone here, just a certain people that done me wrong these past 2 years, just wanted to say it all in one go. Trying not to be negative is hard for me, sorry if it sounds like total bs or total ass, but that's how I am.
    The things i said are stuff people usually won't say here on their farewells, because they would wish to leave in good terms for everyone. People who left and also who had friends banned would say the same words i spoke. They just wanted to leave peacefully. And i'm keeping ties, I said this on the tags but I removed them like a smart-ass. But thanks for the eye opener.

    Dude you did nothing wrong, I enjoyed our time together too, loved our last convo btw. Later.
     
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  17. ayygurl_

    ayygurl_ VIP

    :)
     
  18. Scotty

    Scotty Heroes come and go, but legends are forever. VIP Bronze

    Nox you crazy man. I dont think I got to talk to you much other than the little snapchat convo that we had. Just know that im always here to talk to if you spam me enough cause I have a thick skull when it comes to things like that. Like a lot have said there are bad people in the world that all they want to see is you hurt, but there is quite the group of people who only want to see you prosper and thrive. They might not be as noticeable as the ones who hurt, but thats because most of us are waiting in the background for either you to approach us or waiting to deal with the bad seeds.

    Take care NoX and know you always got a shoulder to talk to in me.
     
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  19. Toest

    Toest "I am the bus" ~ Falcor, all the time VIP

    If you live life letting the few get you down you will never be truly happy. Just remember not everyone is out to get you. Good luck with whatever comes next for you and I’m sure you will find some people if you look hard enough that genuinely care about you both here and elsewhere.
     
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  20. Sha

    Sha VIP

    damn
     
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