I'm usually very joking about pretty much everything, but I thought I'd take a break for a few sentences here. I'm a motivated person and I like to accomplish something I set out by the time I sleep from the moment I wake up. I have a schedule for when I could waste time, eat, work on a project, actually work a normal job, and learn a language. I spent 10:00 A.M - 11:30 A.M of the past 100 or so days strictly staffing and I made it a habbit. It wasn't bad at all, I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of this harassing fellow mods and players. However, after the summer vacation started, I found that when I was working on the things I set out to do, I wasn't enjoying them and I'd frequently use SGM as an excuse to opt out of doing it. This went on for days and after the first few ones, I just felt guilty and depressed to even set foot on GMOD. It got to the point where I'd just hop on, and actually read the book I was supposed to read yesterday and half-ass both things, while feeling guilty about half assing both of them. I wasn't having fun staffing and I wasn't having fun doing other things. It was truly just self-hatred the whole day and I felt I didn't have the right to enjoy myself. But fortunately, I think resigning from having to do this habit on purpose will help me able to find the real passion I once had about learning and being part of this community. I have a very dense sarcastic tone and it's pretty much never stopping. Unless you knew me too well, you could never tell when I was joking or definitely serious. I know personally that this has distanced myself from many of you, and I sadly can't help that. This is kind of a half-assed apology, but I hope my words can convey my sincerity in this. I'm sorry if you thought I was malicious, and I have no excuse for never stopping and not being serious even at the crucial times. However, the one thing I do like about myself is my personality and I have a very fun time and lots of giggles and laughs just being myself. Take care, ink
ink, you do what you need to do, and I do hope to see you around. Hopefully back in cyan eventually too.
