Sticky Serious talks.

If I'm going to be honest, I'm too deppressed to care about life. I don't think I even have reason to fear death. It'd be a release from all the misery from everything around me. I want to change for the better I just can't. Parents don't care, world has gone to shit, my life doesn't seem worth it. I only haven't because I hoped there was still potential. I'm not sure any more. Idk if you guys care. I just don't see a point any more.

 

If you need to talk ever, Indy. I am someone you can come to, feel free to add on steam.



I was in a very similar situation just a few months ago. Its hard to find reasons to keep yourself here when you feel unimportant to or overlooked by ones who are supposed to love you. And with the state of our country, and the overall world.. It can get dark. With a lack of events to go to to take your mind off of things, With less people willing to hangout/keep in touch with the status of the world rn.
Life can seem pointless, lonely, and dark. But I promise you, you aren't alone in any of those feelings. Most people struggle with anxiety or depression, myself included. I couldn't leave bed just a few months ago, and really questioned who I was as a person. I was a shy, depressed, overthinker. For 10 years I let my current position in life bring me down because I felt I wasn't actively working towards my goals, and on a grander scale, felt like my goals were pointless and looked at life in a very nihilistic way.

Meaning I just felt the entirety of life was completely pointless, That even accomplishing my goals was in and of itself energy wasting. I looked at life to an extent that was much larger than me. Just one person, running from his past, but also running from his future.
I tried every coping skill I could think of, and nothing worked. I went to three separate therapists, none of them gave me the answers I was looking for. And then, I admitted myself into the hospital for protection from a death threat I received. In that hospital, I met many people who had similar pasts to me or worse than me. A kid that was disowned by his family and has been homeless since 12 (now 20), A recovering Heroin addict (and many active users), Multiple people who were abused/manipulated in a past relationship, etc.
I spent a lot of time with these sorts of people, Being 1 of the youngest in the room and a natural observer, I wound up finding my way to cope through them.. Although everything that they currently do hasn't been treating them right.. I've changed since that experience.

I have found my reason to live, I finally stopped running from my past.. I instead have accepted where my relationships stand with some people, as I've tried to change them.. I have accepted everything bad that has happened to me and am actively working toward making the past stay where it should. I'd always put myself 2nd to friends and family, so Instead I put my right foot forward and started pushing towards those goals I once thought pointless. I stopped entertaining the one sided friendships and relationships that I gained nothing from. I finally had the courage to stand up for myself and be myself, and only have a worry about what I'd think of myself down the road in comparison to everyone else.

If you'd like to message me, I can listen to you if you just want someone to vent to..
I can give advice if you need someone to give you advice

SGM is a really good community because of all the people you have willing to speak to you, You can't find many places like that.

 

We care dude. I don't have any advice or anything but just wanted to say I enjoy seeing you in shoutbox and you make me crackup whenever u get banned "this mofo got banned for seizure inducing what?!" lmfao

 

I care about you and I'm sure we all do, I really hope things start going better for you and that you can be happy again, always nice playing with you and reading the stuff you post on discord, really makes me laugh (in a good way)

Stay strong

 

Something very strange happened today while I was at work

So the person who ruined my life, my old principal showed up at my work today in the pickup lanes. I was really debating weather or not I should mention who I was or make a scene. He ruined my life after all. I was getting very angry and frustrated, I hated him so much. I did the adult thing of course and didn't do anything. Pretty certain he didn't recognize me either. After he left I was debating weather or not I should call him and make a scene over the phone instead, the manifest sheets have the customers' phone numbers on them. I was thinking about it when... another car pulled up.
There was a woman who I noticed had some south slavic accent. I ask her where she was from. She said Bosnia. I was then asking about her culture since I like doing that with all foreigners I meet. I got to asking her if she was Bosnian Muslim or Bosnian Serb ( the difference is one is Muslim and the other is Eastern Orthodox [ The Bosnian Serbs were genocided against by the Bosnian Serbs during the Yugoslav wars in the 1990s ] ). So she said she is a Bosnian Muslim. I ask her if she disliked the Serbians ( both Bosnian Serbs and Serbian Serbs, Serbia supported the Bosnian Serbs during the war ). She replied with something unexpected....

Even though she lost her grandfather, her uncle, her father, and her husband to the genocide. She believed the Serbs could be forgiven. In the Islamic faith, it is taught that hate will destroy you, and is the actions of the devil. Muslims believe all evil in the world is not by the other person, but by the devil. So all Muslims are taught forgiveness. She forgave the Serbs because she believed hate would destroy you.
I then came to a revelation in my head. I don't think I can forgive my old principal. But I realized I can stop hating him, I can stop hate in general. Because it brings out the bad in all of us. The side of someone we try to hold back but always comes out. Hate will eventually destroy you, me, others if you feed it. I am done feeding hate. My past is my past, I will not let it guide my future any longer.

Fuck the past it's already happened.
Praise the future, it has yet to come.
Be alive, in the present.


I apologize for my past in this community.
Especially @Elvis for giving me one too many chances.
But as I said above, I will choose my own future...

 

We are all god's children in some way or another. We all make mistakes but they can be forgiven in due time.

 

I admire you, this is a great way of thinking. From one stranger to another, I am proud of you, keep making these amazing steps and soon you'll be more Incredible than you already are. <3

 

A friend of mine has been through a rough break-up with someone he loved and won't let go of it, even almost 2 years after they've been apart. I care a lot about him, but I sometimes (and just recently) accidentally mention things that 'trigger' memories regarding their relationship and he gets defensive, depressed, and would refuse to talk to me.

Not sure how to approach things here. He obviously wants to avoid talking about the issue, but I always feel like crap whenever I accidentally trigger these memories and make him feel depressed.

 

I think in this situation it might be best to reiterate your support for your friend. If you care for him pretty strongly, it might be a good idea to talk to him directly about how his past circumstances are affecting your friendship. This is where it would be critical to reassure him that you care deeply about his wellbeing, and that moving on is in the best interests for both his mental health and friendships' survival. Sometimes relationships succeed, sometimes they don't, but good friendships always prevail. Best of luck!

 

tw: suicide // self harm

Please consider reading if you are experiencing suicidal ideology, self harm, etc.

This is a partial summary of my experience with depression, bullying, and how I am healing. I am safe, healthy and have a support system, please don't hack my IP and call the cops on me thanks.

A little over 2 years ago, I was borderline suicidal. Finishing high school all while getting bullied was never fun (no, they didn't know I was a furry). It would be small things, like rude comments, or hiding my stuff, but that shit builds up. My grades, morale and will to live dropped faster than a bag of rocks. At one point, I was really going to kill myself, but someone close to me reported it before I did anything. At the time it was hard, I felt betrayed like my life was ruined (ironic, I know), but I was lucky enough to go to counseling, and a good one too. As time passed, I started learning how to cope with these issues, I stopped hurting myself, and my life got a lot better. I'm not where I want to be (as many of you know, I can be incredibly toxic and petty), but I plan on working hard so I may one day get to where I want to be.

I'm not going to lie, this pandemic has been hard for me, and sometimes I feel the progress I've made has been knocked backwards. However, I have learned that life does that, and I personally would rather push through instead of giving up on the things our planet has to offer that I haven't seen yet. That doesn't mean I cant be sad. I am sad almost every day, but learning how to balance those emotions is important, and incredibly helpful.

I want to say that if you are going through anything similar, or maybe different but it's leading you down a dark path, please talk about it. I am not in a healthy place to myself to talk to anyone or help, but I will quote the list of people who can. I swear to you on my life that talking to someone and getting help are the best things you can do. Create a support system if you can't get professional help. Search up anonymous call centers who will help with this, because there are people who want you to stay here. You don't need a reason to be cared for, you are a person and deserve better than what you may have.

It's ok to not be ok.
It's ok to be afraid.
Know that people are here for you.
You are doing well, and I'm proud of you for coming this far.
It will be ok, even if it doesn't seem like it.

I do have a side note; I am a transgender woman (MtF), and if anyone who is alone and needs a pal or a jumpstart on info around that topic, I'd be more than happy to give y'all some pointers, HMU.

 

So recently I have an admission. I am bisexual. Some of y'all know this. I am debating on whether or not I tell my parents and immediate friends. As some of y'all can tell with me, my parents are uber conservative. Almost all my friends dislike liking men. So idk what I should do, should I keep quiet until I move away or should I be honest about myself with them?

 

In my opinion I would also find new friends. Theres no reason to be friends with bigots.

 

I don't think it is usually that simple, especially if you live in a small town with few options. A lot of my friends in high school were less than stellar, but it was either them or the crowd that is now passed out in a denny's parking lot. Who our friends are and who are parents are can be a difficult thing to change, and simply giving up on someone you've been friends with since preschool simply because they got a little homophobia is counter productive.

Hell ye bisexual club whatup. Personally? I haven't told my parents and I probably never will. Why? Because I don't really think it is that big of a deal, and it would just make them weirded out. I love my parents, and they are great people, but they have no right to know. Then again, just make sure that if you decide to come out that you got a fallback plan if shit goes sideways. You don't wanna be the kid tossed out for being gay.

 

This. I'm basically relying on my parents to house me while I'm in University. I honestly don't know what their reactions would be if I told them I was bi. Frankly, I think it's better to just keep it to yourself until you're more independent, cause at least then you won't need them anymore.

 

I mean logically speaking, there is literally no point telling anyone unless u end up having a boyfriend/husband because if u did end up with a gf/wife, u would be seen as straight publicly. Welp, there are no (homophobia) "issues" within family/friends/work etc. etc.
Whatever your private/sexual relations are, it should be kept within the privacy and confidence, by this I mean 1 nightstand and whatnot. However, if we are on about speaking on a public relationship:
If you end up being in a committed relationship with a girl at the end of the day, the ppl who hold relevance in your life (parents/friends as mentioned) would be happy, and there wouldn't be distress over your personal relationship within a societal view. However, if u do end up falling in love with a guy, then I guess that is when you gotta make your decisions. But those decisions are for then, not now. For now, chill, of course, the LGBTQ ppl want u to go public but think of it strategically, you ain't on your 2 feet, your living with your parents, and you do not bite the hand that feeds you. So it's best to wait and see.

 

With all this said, I don’t care what religious background you come from, it’s wrong to kick and disown your children for coming out. Love everyone

 

When I went through this situation, I basically kept my "current" friends out of the blue and kept our friendship what it had been. But, as you meet new people, I would really suggest talking to new folks about this and have them know you for who you are. People are getting more accepting year after year after year. If you do go off to college, then I'm sure you'll find that 80-90% of people are totally fine with who you are. That being said, what Nathan suggested is absolutely the best path forward. Your current friends still love you for who you are, but you just have to be aware that being bi might affect their perception. It's all about balancing whether you value that friendship and if being bi is a big enough deal that you want them to know. I wish you the best of luck!